Fertility treatment can be one of the most stressful experiences of a person's life. Managing that stress matters for your own wellbeing, whatever its effect on the treatment itself.
The stress and fertility connection
Research suggests stress does not directly cause infertility, but sustained stress does affect hormone regulation, sleep, immune function and general wellbeing. Managing it is worth doing for your mental health regardless of the effect on conception, and it is worth being sceptical of anyone who tells you that relaxing would fix everything.
Strategies that help
Mindfulness and breathing
- A short daily practice, even 5 to 10 minutes, is enough to matter
- Guided meditation apps are a fine place to start
- Deep breathing exercises you can use anywhere
- Gentle movement such as yoga or tai chi
Physical activity
- Regular moderate exercise reduces stress
- Choose something you actually enjoy, or you will not keep it up
- Avoid over-exercising, which can work against fertility
- Walking, swimming and gentle yoga are all good options
Support
- A fertility support group, in person or online
- Talking openly with your partner rather than protecting each other from it
- Individual or couples counselling
Boundaries
- It is fine to limit fertility conversations when you have had enough
- It is fine to decline events that you know will be hard
- Self-care without guilt is not a luxury here
Getting through the two week wait
The period after transfer is its own particular kind of difficult. What tends to help:
- Keeping gently busy
- Not checking for symptoms hourly
- Staying off the forums for these two weeks
- Staying connected to people who are good for you
Appointments
- Write your questions down beforehand
- Bring someone with you when you can
- Book times when you are least rushed
- Allow extra travel time so you are not arriving stressed
When to get professional help
Speak to a professional if you are experiencing:
- Sadness or low mood that persists
- Anxiety that is interfering with daily life
- Trouble sleeping over an extended period
- Changes in appetite
- Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy
If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, please treat that as urgent and speak to a doctor, a mental health professional, or someone you trust today. It is a common and treatable response to an extremely hard situation, and you should not sit with it alone.
Talking with your partner
- Check in with each other regularly and deliberately
- Be direct about what you need rather than hoping it is obvious
- Respect that you may cope in completely different ways
- Plan things together that have nothing to do with fertility
Finding balance
It is allowed to:
- Take a break from treatment if you need one
- Feel hopeful some days and flat on others
- Need time alone, or need more support than usual
- Change your mind about your options
You are doing your best in a hard situation, and that is enough.
This article is general information, not medical advice. Your own situation needs a proper assessment by a qualified clinician, which is something we arrange at our partner clinics in Accra.
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